Mail FAQs for Dummies

Mail FAQs for Dummies

Q: I haven’t been receiving any email. What could be wrong?
A: Well, there’s nothing wrong with us, maybe with you.
A: Actually, the thing that could be wrong couldn’t be right, right?

Q: I already deleted messages in my INBOX. I still could not receive email. What should I do?
A: You will never be able to receive emails unless you’re an email server? Install an email server to your a** and try again.

Q: I have deleted all my messages and there is no other message in my INBOX/folders, but my “Disk Usage” indicator is still at 100% and I cannot receive incoming mails. Am I missing something?
A: You’re not missing anything, it’s just that our server is so happy being freed up from useless junks that it forgot to reflect the changes.

Q: My email address is too long. I want a shorter email address.
A: You can cut it into pieces then give the parts (in installment) to your friends. Seriously though, if you want a shorter address, ask your parents to give you a shorter name.

Q: I forgot (don’t know) my Webmail password
A: Clue: It starts with a letter and ends with and h.

Q: I forgot (don’t know) my Online Registration password/pincode
A: Me too! Actually I’ve never received one.

Q: I have just activated my account and it says that I am using N% of my space (or a different value every time I refresh the display).
A: Whoa! You must be famous! You already received an email just by activating your account!

Q: I composed a long message (which took me hours to write). But when I clicked “Send Message”, I was logged out and my message was not sent.
A: That’s what you call, session timed out! Seriously, that’s what you call negligence or stupidity on user’s part.

Q: I’ve been having some problem setting up Outlook / Eudora / Pegasus / Messenger. I’ve been having some problem setting up the SMTP server connection.
A: Then I would suggest you’d be better off with snail mail.
But if you’re having problems with stamps too, maybe you need a caretaker.

Q: I haven’t reached my quota yet but still i can’t receive emails.
A: Whoa! Our forwarding feature is working. Glad you’re enjoying it.

Q: My emails are delayed, wtf is wrong with our servers?
A: It’s called austerity measures.
A: And misallotment of priorities.

Q: I’m using public computers to access Webmail, how can I make sure that my password cannot be stolen?
A: Do not use public computers.

Q: Help! My mailbox is in chaos, what happened to the ordering of my messages?
A: They are arranged in a disorderly manner.

  • rom

    Bwahaha! I love it!!!!

  • This sounds like some scene in the IT Crowd series!

    Just dial “0188-9998-8199-9119-725…3”.

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